As I worked on my presentation for the Gluten and Allergen Free Wellness Event in St. Louis last year, "The Emotional Side of Dietary Differences," I was reminded of where my journey began: the joys of having answers, combined with the struggles of diet change and even of the sense of loss. It brought me back to my reason for wanting to be the best me I can be, of how and why I worked at not feeling sorry for myself, and why I wanted better health:
for my children.
for my children.
They are all grown now, all in their late 20's to early 30's. Eek! (but I will NOT say "I'm old." Never!! haha) Even though they are all grown, I cherish them now as I did the day they were born and as I have every day in between. They are my reason for wanting to be healthy, and they have always been my reason for wanting to make this diet “OK.”
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To be healthy, a gluten-free diet was (and is) a must.
To be a mom, I had to be able to bake chocolate chip cookies.
To be a mom, I had to be able to bake chocolate chip cookies.
When I was finally diagnosed with celiac, I was thrilled to have an answer to a lifetime of health issues. But within a couple weeks on the gluten-free diet, I started to mourn the foods I didn’t think I’d ever be able to eat again. And more than for myself, I mourned for what I felt I couldn’t offer my kids any more. They were 17, 14 and almost 11 years of age and all still living at home. I liked to have balanced, yet fun and enjoyable meals for my family. I quickly decided that I didn’t want to have to prepare two separate meals, one for me and one for everyone else--too much work and too much risk of contaminating myself with gluten. Besides, I didn’t want my kids to feel sorry for me in any way shape or form
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So my goal: Find the right recipes, brands, and methods to prepare everyday meals we could all enjoy together. (I'm grateful for starting this journey before the availability of all the products that are now available---for learning how to cook and bake and feed my family with a minimal amount of processed foods.)
This was a process. And for this I thank my beloved children, who never complained about the less than wonderful meals I would at times prepare, or the extra time I now spent in the kitchen, or the melt downs I would sometimes have over the frustration of it all. One time in particular is a memory I will forever cherish.
Gluten-free pasta wasn’t what it is now, or at least the brands I first tried were not the ones I currently use. I remember putting a blob of what should have been spaghetti noodles (but in actuality was starchy mush) on the table. I felt horrible for serving this to my family. My kids, bless their hearts, looked at it, slowly served themselves small helpings, and said, “This isn’t so bad.” (Yup, I still tear up.) Their response, more than anything, gave me the incentive and the drive to find and to provide meals that were safe for me and edible for everyone else.
When I was first diagnosed, I had no idea there existed replacements for wheat flour and baked goods or for pastas and for pizza. Discovering Carol Fenster's Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe was that turning point for me.
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So my goal: Find the right recipes, brands, and methods to prepare everyday meals we could all enjoy together. (I'm grateful for starting this journey before the availability of all the products that are now available---for learning how to cook and bake and feed my family with a minimal amount of processed foods.)
This was a process. And for this I thank my beloved children, who never complained about the less than wonderful meals I would at times prepare, or the extra time I now spent in the kitchen, or the melt downs I would sometimes have over the frustration of it all. One time in particular is a memory I will forever cherish.
Gluten-free pasta wasn’t what it is now, or at least the brands I first tried were not the ones I currently use. I remember putting a blob of what should have been spaghetti noodles (but in actuality was starchy mush) on the table. I felt horrible for serving this to my family. My kids, bless their hearts, looked at it, slowly served themselves small helpings, and said, “This isn’t so bad.” (Yup, I still tear up.) Their response, more than anything, gave me the incentive and the drive to find and to provide meals that were safe for me and edible for everyone else.
When I was first diagnosed, I had no idea there existed replacements for wheat flour and baked goods or for pastas and for pizza. Discovering Carol Fenster's Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe was that turning point for me.
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There are some things we take for granted and there are some things that may appear to others as “no big deal,” but not being able to bake chocolate chip cookies for my kids was a “big deal.” So I gave it a try. The first batch came out of the oven with all the smells of home---and apparently, all the tastes of home; they disappeared before they had a chance to cool.
I cried, literally cried. I cried over a simple batch of chocolate chip cookies. This wasn't really a "simple" batch of cookies. This was the moment I knew I would be OK. I would be OK because my kids could still have the mom who could give them home baked chocolate chip cookies.
I cried, literally cried. I cried over a simple batch of chocolate chip cookies. This wasn't really a "simple" batch of cookies. This was the moment I knew I would be OK. I would be OK because my kids could still have the mom who could give them home baked chocolate chip cookies.
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